Grasses of a Thousand Colours ***TNT

Saturday 06 June 2009 15:49 GMT

A short New Yorker swamped in a black dressing gown welcomes the audience to a reading of his memoirs and proceeds to tell us how lucky he’s been – intelligent, born into wealth which has increased by his own scientific endeavours, and, as it turns out, never short of a woman in his life.

But Wallace Shawn’s new three hour offering is weird in the extreme and has darker matters to pursue as memoirist Ben (played by Shawn himself) digresses into a peculiar blend of disturbing fairytale concerning a white cat called Blanche, thoughts about the effect man’s (and his own) interference has had on the planet, and extended musings about his very best friend – his “massive” member!

It’s a strange experience watching this unprepossessing, gnome of a playwright/actor cuddling up to his beautiful first wife Cerise, his voluptuous mistress Robin and the much younger Rose (just a fraction of his age) – especially when, catlike, Cerise affectionately licks his bald pate.

And although Shawn is concerned about the Pandora’s box of ills that might fly open when human intervention turns animals cannibalistically omnivore, it’s the surreal accounts of Ben’s sex-life (part real, part nightmare, part bestial) and his relationship with his penis which predominates.

Miranda Richardson’s Cerise is the epitome of cat-ness, whilst Jennifer Tilly’s sensually smiling Robin has most definitely got the cream - and is eager for more. Shawn makes an entertaining (if self-indulgent) raconteur, but his/Ben’s lurid interest in Blanche goes way beyond mere stroking and petting and my own much-loved feline has been strongly advised to give them all a very wide berth indeed.

Royal Court Theatre, Sloane Square, SW1W 8AS Sloane Square tube (020 7565 5000) until 27th June (£10-£15)