Kismet - TNT
Salman Rushdie receives a knighthood, and English National Opera revive a '50s musical Broadway hit set in Baghdad in which the lead almost gets his hand lopped off by a Bin Laden look-alike — what timing! And it's not even as though this panto-like production carries it off. The choreography is poorly executed (sorry!), the story line risible (how could so many cooks come up with such thin broth?) and, despite some strong singing and lush Borodin-inspired melodies, the whole enterprise limps slowly along without much life or humour. The romantic leads sing endearingly (but win no acting awards) and "Baubles, Bangles and Beads" and "Stranger in Paradise" have an enduring, lilting familiarity (when they're not fighting the orchestra). But this uninspired tale about a wily penniless poet (a cheery Michael Ball) who is repeatedly mistaken for someone else, and the lovesick prince in disguise who falls for his daughter, needs a drastic overhaul before it sees the light of day again.
English National Opera at the London Coliseum, St Martin's Ln, WC2, 0870-145 0200. Until July 14
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