Sunday 29 June 2008

Fat Pig - TNT

Should it make a difference if your partner is overweight? Not just a pound or two, but scale-bustingly obese? That's the situation facing corporate guy Tom who surprises himself by falling for librarian Helen over pizza (several slices — hers) and chicken (with salad — his). She's so much nicer than co-worker Jeannie, his trim, slim and now bitterly jealous on-off ex who wants to rekindle their relationship. But, torn between genuine affection and a society which cruelly judges by externals, he hasn't got the guts to introduce her to his colleagues.
Ella Smith is a self-deprecating delight as supersized Helen, insisting she's happy in her own skin. But this is romantic comedy Neil LaBute-style and, in the end, size really does matter. Trafalgar Studios, Whitehall St, SW1 (0870-060 6632; www.trafalgar-studios.co.uk ). Until September 6. £25-£45
Candide - TNT

Not content with the contributions that Stephen Sondheim, Dorothy Parker and a host of others have made to Leonard Bernstein's comic operetta since it premiered in 1956, director Richard Carsen has taken all sorts of liberties with his updated staging. Inspired by 18th century philosopher Voltaire's satirical novella, Candide follows the adventures of the eponymous hero (Toby Spence) as he travels the world experiencing loss, tragedy, war and a multitude of other ills in his search for "the best of all possible worlds."
This colourful new production (which has already been seen in Paris and Milan) turns the stage into a giant television set with Voltaire at the controls. But what he's watching is a parody of 50's America, with Candide's beloved Cunegonde (Anna Christy) resurrected as a Marilyn Monroe clone (dripping with diamonds, curvaceous in pink satin) when she survives rape and disembowelment in her native West Failure (originally Westphalia) and travels to the New World.
The words are witty, the melodic score both catchy and haunting. It's all a bit too busy, perhaps, and logistically muddled, but great fun if you just let yourself go with the overblown lack of restraint. Alex Jennings doubles brilliantly as an arch Voltaire and the tutor Pangloss, stubbornly maintaining that everything happens for the best, whilst Beverley Klein is a scene-stealing, one-buttocked old lady, and 'Tony Blair' floats nonchalantly on an oil-slicked sea in Union Jack swimming trunks — along with Bush, Chirac and Putin.
English National Opera at the London Coliseum, St Martin's Lane, WC2 (0871-911 0200). Until July 12. £87-£10
... Sisters - TNT

It's all very well to push the boundaries and "apply new levels of formal experimentation to productions of classic European plays" and director Chris Goode is the recipient of an award to do just that. But what might prove a rewarding rehearsal exercise doesn't necessarily translate into a positive experience for the audience. This co-production between the Gate and Headlong points up the pro and cons of playing games with established texts.
Naomi Dawson's clever set is both indoors and out, covered in grass and with elements of childhood and rehearsal room (a playground water fountain, a dressing up trunk, a blackboard). Locked in their little world and destined never to get to Moscow, five female actors and one male (wearing a woman's slip) share the words of Olga, Masha, Irina and their intimates — and add some contemporary phrases as well.
Voices and roles coalesce and collide, but although the overlapping occasionally adds a fierce intensity, for the most part, if you aren't familiar with Chekhov's original, this deconstruction will probably leave you pretty much at sea. On the other hand, if it's one of your favourite classics, the wilful repetition becomes frustrating and is unlikely to yield much fresh insight.Who plays whom and who says what is, apparently, determined each night by picking the short straw, or by the contents of a letter, but (for me, at least) the most fascinating thing on stage was a bombproof rabbit which, making a late appearance, hopped on stage to wash, scratch and try to make sense of these frustrated provincial siblings.
Gate, Pembridge Road W11 (020-7229 0706). Until July 5. £16-£11
Divas - TNT

Unless you're also a big fan of Piaf, Dietrich and Garland, there's little here to tempt the dedicated balletomane. Peter Schaufuss (a former principal dancer who has performed worldwide) proves himself a disappointingly literal interpreter of thirty of their songs which are blasted through the auditorium. His lacklustre choreography — with its abrupt, repetitive jokey movements — often feels like a knee jerk response to the music.
There are three very prominent chairs on an elevated platform, three ballerinas and three acts. In the first, an exceptionally tall and sinuous ballerina interprets the works of the diminutive Piaf (but, in the absence of a male partner, seems reluctant to be parted from her high-backed chair). In the second, another dancer wafts aimlessly in furs as a redundant but elegant Dietrich (cue lederhosen and goose-stepping from the energetic corps de ballet squashed onto the minimal remaining downstage space). And finally it's the turn of Garland's rather shaky alter ego to try and inject some of 'That Old Black Magic' into this uninspiring show.
There are, intermittently, sensuous and enjoyable moments. But, ironically, it's the pleasure of listening to the recordings of this deceased trio of legendary songstresses (rather than the activity on stage) which gives this so-called dance spectacular life.
Apollo Shaftesbury Avenue, W1 (0870-040 0080). Until 5th July 5. £41-£16

Monday 23 June 2008

Dickens Unplugged - TNT

Co-founder of the Reduced Shakespeare Company Adam Long had a massive hit with The Complete Works Of Shakespeare (Abridged), which began in Edinburgh 1987 and finally ended a nine-year West End run in 2005.
His new musical comedy subjects the substantial oeuvre of "Charlie" Dickens to similar treatment, but proves a very hit and miss affair. The emphasis is on the more familiar works, with The Old Curiosity Shop succinctly dismissed in under a minute and Martin Chuzzlewit barely meriting a mention.
Five American-accented blokes play all the parts (and the musical instruments too) and although Simon Jermond proves effective portraying David Copperfield's rejected, ringletted Agnes, the Christmas Carol is short on ingenuity and, for a potted résumé, tediously over-extended.
Comedy Theatre, Panton St, SW1 (0870-060 6637). Until June 29. £16-£46
Relocated - TNT

Anthony Neilson likes to keep you guessing. His new dramas are often scheduled for performance long before he's given them a title or finished creating them. His latest disturbing piece is no exception and is chillingly topical.
Separated from the gloomy, low-ceilinged stage by a gauzy mesh (which turns opaque with each change of scene) we encounter, one by one, three women who turn out to be linked by a common identity and are part, perhaps, of awitness protection programme. The overpowering reek of disinfectant and the compulsive hoovering hint at terrible events which can't be erased and, as the fragmented episodes build into a central theme of disappearing little girls, the bunkerlike setting becomes increasingly ominous, bringing to mind the horrific events recently exposed in Austria and instances of child abduction (and worse) closer to home.
Neilson's powerfully acted production (he also directs) is as cruel and disconcerting as a very bad dream, but - as blood drips ominously from the ceiling - it is also unnervingly compelling.
Royal Court Theatre Upstairs, Sloane Square, SW1. (020-7565 5000). Until July 5. Tickets £15 (£10 on Monday).
The Quiz - TNT

Probably best known for his portrayal of Filch in the Henry Potter films, David Bradley has, for decades, been a highly respected classical actor. In Richard Crane's new monologue, he plays a boozy, washed-up Actor (his mother an actress, his father a bishop) whose final wish is to die in the limelight with his tights on. And this might be his final performance.
His loyal stage manager Angelica (with whom he once, and only once, found himself sharing a bed) has finally slammed the door on their working relationship, and his wife and kids are a distant memory. For almost two decades, he's been touring a one man show - "The Grand Inquisitor" culled from Dostoevsky's Brothers Karamazov - and Crane interweaves excerpts which resonate with the Actor's own observations.
Cadaverous in his monk's robes, he looks back ruefully and with bleak humour on a life that has gone nowhere and, although the script is as slippery as the whisky-sodden thesp's grasp of his lines, Bradley's performance is masterly.
Trafalgar Studios (2), Whitehall, SW1. (0870-060 6632). Until June 28. Tickets £22.50 (£15.00 Monday).

Sunday 15 June 2008

Never Forget - TNT

It won't win any points for originality, but this crowd-pleasing musical aims to satisfy Take That fans and gets full marks for doing just that. On the pretext of following five Manchester lads as they set out to win the £10,000 prize money in a tribute band competition, it packs in the hits and some lively choreography, as well as daft humour provided mainly by dim-witted stripper Harry and lisping, mother-fixated Spaniard Jose. Gary Barlow figure Ash is a bit too bland to warrant the solo recording contract, which tests his loyalties and breaks his engagement but, overall, the vitality proves irresistible, and the falling curtain of water that spells out the name of the show is, quite simply, magical.
Savoy Strand, WC2 (0870 164 8787) Currently booking till 25th October. Tickets £ 55 - £19.50
Topless Mum - TNT

The tables are turned on the tabloids when wounded squaddie Barry (Alistair Wilkinson) sells a hungry young reporter an apparently incriminating picture saved on his mobile. The image purports to show British soldiers humiliating an Afghani prisoner, but – as everyone now knows (and as the Mirror's editor found out to his cost a few years back) - things aren't necessarily quite what they appear to be in this digitally enhanced age.
Playwright Ron Hutchinson manipulates his characters and their dialogue as shamelessly as the media blatantly massages the truth and as the army seeks (more subtly) to keep it hidden. Sylvestra Le Touzel is on commanding no-nonsense form as the military lawyer interviewing a soldier who may or may not have been involved in an event which may or may not have happened, and Louise Kempton's Tiffany reveals the streak of hard-nosed self-preservation she'll need to live with the physically and emotionally damaged husband who came home from the war. Next month, Hutchinson's excellent comedy "Moonlight and Magnolias" makes a welcome return to this theatre but, in the meantime, this more serious drama (with its not altogether convincing twists and turns) will keep you guessing until the brutal facts finally emerge.
Tricycle Kilburn High Road, NW6. (020-7328 1000). Tickets £20-£10. Until June 28.
Love - The Musical - TNT

Icelandic director and actor Gisli Orn Gardarsson first made a big impression over here with an aerial interpretation of that enduring tragedy of thwarted young love "Romeo and Juliet". Now he's turned his attention to the other end of the spectrum with this patchy tale of late-blossoming romance. Set in a care home where the residents (under the strict eye of a far too sexy nurse who insists on "no talking" after lights out) are all old, often frail and frequently mentally incapacitated, it celebrates the strength of long-lasting love and the power of unexpected geriatric amour.
Here, Peter, still sprightly, cossets the wife who can no longer speak to him whilst Dudley Sutton's Thomas, his brain addled by Alzheimer's, pees in public and dutifully swallows his medication. But it's the relationship between Anna Calder-Marshall's Margaret (dumped for the weekend by her son in the hope that she'll become a permanent resident) and Julian Curry's suddenly invigorated Neville (his dementia miraculously held at bay by her arrival) which seems to offer a last chance of future happiness.
Orn Gardarsson and his collaborators have woven snatches of familiar songs – from the Beatles to Bowie - into the fabric of the minimal plot (sometimes the words are spoken with poignant longing, sometimes sung in quavering voices by the professional cast and the amateur community choir of fellow residents). The result is intermittently touching, if too simplistically realised – but, whatever your age, this musical will be hard pushed to convince you that life really can begin when the years have rendered you too infirm to make use of your senior citizen bus pass.
Lyric Hammersmith, King Street, Hammersmith, W6. (0870-050 0511). Until June 21. £27-£13.

Monday 9 June 2008

Marguerite - TNT

It can't match the sheer sweep and emotion of Les Mis, but this elegantly designed new musical from its creators, Boublil and Schonberg, has a couple of melodies that linger after the curtain has come down, and at least as many more that merit a repeat hearing. The doomed love affair of Alexandre Dumas' La Dame Aux Camelias has, provocatively, been relocated to occupied Paris during World War II. Ruthie Henshall's Marguerite (mistress of Alexander Hanson's severe German general) and Julian Ovenden's smitten Armand (the young pianist she falls for at her sumptuous 40th birthday party) give impressive performances, but the poignancy of their affair is unintentionally diminished by the wider background of hypocritical collaboration, betrayal and persecution.
Theatre Royal Haymarket, SW1 (0845-481 1870). Until November 1. £25-£60
Contractions - TNT

It takes less than an hour for Emma from the sales department to be torn to emotional shreds and then put back together again in Mike Bartlett's chillingly effective two-hander. Originally broadcast on the radio, it transfers admirably to a small space in the Royal Court's own admin area which has been minimally furnished as a modern office. Here, like snooping flies on the wall, the audience (just thirty at a time) watches in increasingly horrified disbelief as the unnamed female manager conducts a sequence of interviews with Anna Madeley's Emma.Initially, she's reminded that her contract stipulates that all office relationships of a sexual or romantic nature must be reported to the company. But with each encounter her privacy is invaded further and further by Julia Davis's manager with her misleadingly dulcet tone and impassive manner. Funny at first, then tragic, this clever satire disturbingly suggests what could happen when the concept of corporate "duty of care" is taken to sadistic extremes and (in Lyndsey Turner's perfectly pitched production) effectively questions just how far, under such Orwellian circumstances, one might be forced go in order to hold on to one's job.
Royal Court Theatre Upstairs, Sloane Square, SW1. (020-7565 5000). Until June 14. Tickets £15 (£10 on Monday)

Sunday 8 June 2008

Fast Labour - TNT

It tackles important issues and is undoubtedly topical, but Steve Waters' new play suffers from being both predictable and formulaic. It begins promisingly enough with the arrival of Ukrainian Victor, dirty, bruised and without any papers, as part of a "consignment" of Eastern European workers allocated to a fish-processing factory in Scotland. The work stinks – in all senses of the word – and the already lousy pay is even lousier after gangmaster Grimmer has sliced off his substantial cut. So far so good, as is the unexpected invitation from lonely Human Resources Anita (a lovely warm performance of compromised integrity form newcomer Kirsty Stuart) who seduces him over a copy of his terms of employment.From there on, it's onwards and upwards for Victor as he works his way up to what he considers the top of a decidedly dodgy heap and, increasingly as he nears his goal, never mind whom he tramples on to get there.There's good work in the supporting roles (Joseph Kloska's Lithuanian Andrius unhappy about his new boss's progressively suspect practices, Roger Evans' rough, foul-mouthed Moldavian Alexei) and Simon Daw's design cleverlyuses video projections to chart their journey south. But although Waters succeeds in exposing the exploitation behind the cheap goods this country demands, and acknowledges the corruption of the system these economic migrants have left behind, ultimately his depiction of Victor's financial and moral trajectory lacks dramatic finesse.
Hampstead Eton Avenue, NW3. (020-7722 9301). Until June 21. Tickets £23-£14 (£11 for under 26s)

Friday 6 June 2008

THE PITMEN PAINTERS - This is London
National Theatre

I almost missed this exceptional coproduction between Newcastle's Live Theatre and the National, but I'm so glad I didn't. Right from the start Lee Hall's affectionate, clear-sighted account of the Ashington Group, which found fame in the art world in the 1930's, mixes blunt northern humour with stark naturalism in an honest portrayal of the class divide.
Based on William Feaver's book of the same name, Max Roberts' exemplary production follows a handful of miners (there were, in fact, several times this number) from their first art appreciation class, held in a hut in 1934 (the Workers Education Association apparently couldn't find anyone to teach introductory economics, their preferred topic) through to the Nationalisation of the coal industry in 1947. Quickly realising that, initially at least, these serious men in their serious suits – but with no frame of artistic reference – would learn little by just looking at slides, their teacher Robert Lyon (a Durham academic) soon had them producing their own works. Though they had no formal training, they proved themselves to be unexpectedly talented, graduating from powerful linocuts to equally truthful paintings - of their lives underground, their homes, the colliery, pit ponies and Bedlington terriers.
Hall (who wrote ‘Billy Elliot’) proves once again how adept he is at mixing genuine emotion with wit and social commentary, and questions what art means to the painter, the purchaser and the person who just looks and tries to understand. In what transpires to be one of the most rewarding evenings currently to be had in the theatre, he is perfectly served by an excellent, down-to-earth cast including Deka Walmsley's George (a stickler for rules and regulations), Michael Hodgson's Somme survivor (a Marxist who sees politics in every stroke), Christopher Connel's brooding Oliver Kilbourn (tempted by the offer of patronage and intensely moved by his growing appreciation of a previously inaccessible form of expression) and Ian Kelly's Lyon, whose own reputation was significantly boosted by his encouragement of these remarkable working class artists.
Louise Kingsley

Monday 2 June 2008

Lifecoach - TNT

Slight but enjoyable, Nick Reed's new comedy takes a gently mocking look at the motivation of those who are paid to sort out your life but haven't necessarily made the most of their own. Phill Jupitus's Colin is no Carol Caplin (the lifestyle guru who took Cherie Blair under her sometimes misguided wing). But although his wife has left him for a fishmonger, he's made a success of showing senior exec Fiona how to climb the corporate ladder and now she wants him to sort out Wendy, the disastrously mousy PA she inherited along with a ghastly carpet.Amy Darcy is perfect as walked-all-over Wendy, shamelessly exploited by her live-in boyfriend who takes over her bedroom then invites another woman to share it with him. And Jupitus (a comedian and regular TV panellist) retainshis comic timing and adds a touch of vulnerability as he works with his increasingly assertive client. It's not difficult to guess the predictable outcome, but that barely matters in 70 minutes of light-hearted fun with a touching core of truth at its heart. Trafalgar Studios (2), Whitehall, SW1 (0870-060 6632). Until June 14. £22.50 (£17.50 Monday)

Sunday 1 June 2008

Pygmalion - TNT

Though almost a century old, George Bernard Shaw's social comedy — the inspiration for the musical My Fair Lady — comes up fresh and sparkling in Peter Hall's buoyant revival. In an exceptionally strong cast, Michelle Dockery impresses as the Cockney flower girl plucked from the gutter (along with her strangulated vowels) to be transformed by phonetics professor Henry Higgins into a more than passable lady. Tim Pigott-Smith, as the distinguished academic, revels in the bad manners of a fidgety schoolboy lacking the emotional literacy to understand — or even admit — his feelings for his protégée or the consequences of his experiment. Barbara Jefford (as his justifiably exasperated mother) and James Laurenson's gentlemanly Colonel Pickering provide excellent support.
Old Vic, The Cut, SE1 (0870-060 6628; www.oldvictheatre.com). Until August 2. £10-£45
The Common Pursuit - TNT

Like much of his work, this sophisticated, bittersweet comedy by Cambridge educated Simon Gray draws heavily on his own experiences among the chattering classes. Written in 1984, it follows a select group of literary-minded individuals – five men, one woman - for almost two decades from the setting up of a highbrow magazine in their idealistic student days through births, marriages, deaths and disillusionment.The play itself still reveals a stinging, caustic wit and the sad cynicism of experience and (even though Fiona Laird's production doesn't always hit home) is well worth reviving. Somewhat unconvincing as undergraduates, the cast becomes more persuasive as the characters mature – media-hungry, chain-smoking Nick; philandering, light-weight academic Peter; decent, self-effacing Martin; elitist editor Stuart and his girlfriend Marigold.Best of all is James Dreyfus's gay Humphry. Fiercely intelligent and too shrewd for his own comfort, his withering expression reveals exactly what he feels about his contemporaries – and, painfully, himself.
Menier Chocolate Factory, 53 Southwark Street, SE1. (020-7907 7060). Tickets £22.50 (meal deals available). Until July 20.